Smile
by Bunnirabbit
Summary: Kyon hates Koizumi's fake smile because it covers up the smile that make known feel like he might be going down the right path. Koizumi is happy enough not to have to use the smile that leaves a bad taste in his mouth. Kind of a continuation to my other fix 'Don't go' 'I love you', but you need to have read it, they're just set in the same universe.


Kyon hates Koizumi's fake smile. It annoys him, it makes him feel like he's being lied to, and it's so much uglier than Koizumi's real one. When Koizumi smile for real, Kyon feels safe. He feels like he'll never have to deal with the stress of an adult life, money, or death. That smile is life affirming, because, right now, Kyon is stuck between the real world and his last few years of school. He and Koizumi have basically built their futures around each other, without eve discussing it. Even in high school, there was already an unspoken agreement. They'd go to the same school, or at least really close schools, they'd share an apartment or a dorm, and they'd plan for a future with a plus one. And sometimes, that feels like a lot to Kyon. There are times, deep in the night, when Koizumi is asleep beside him, when Kyon wonders if he's doing the right thing. It not that he doesn't want to be with Koizumi, because the truth is the opposite and Kyon can't imagine a future that doesn't include Koizumi. It's just that, they're young, they met young, started dating young, and now, they're planning their futures to fit with someone else. Sometimes that feels wrong, but if Koizumi smiles, Kyonn always knows that he's going to make it through life fine, just so long as he has Koizumi with him.

Koizumi is studying law. He never thought that would be the case. As a child he might have seen himself as a dapper gentleman lawyer, but he can't remember much from his childhood. For a while, Koizumi was sure he was going to spend his entire life making sure Haruhi didn't cause the end of the world. Then came Kyon. Koizumi was intrigued by Kyon. The boy was so different from anything Koizumi had ever come across. Kyon was normal, but that had never made any sense to Koizumi. At first, he couldn't accept it. He tried to figure out what Kyon 'really' was, then he realized something. Kyon was a normal human. That was what made him strange to Koizumi, a boy who spent his days working for a shady 'agency' and protecting the world with the help of completely abnormal humans and non-humans. Koizumi had thought he had it all figured out. He though he would no longer be fascinated with the other boy, but he was wrong for two reasons. The first reason was that Kyon only seemed like a normal human, but no normal human would ever travel through time and dimensions to save the girls and boy that were slowly becoming his closest friends, no normal human would stay. But Kyon did, and slowly Koizumi began to accept that Kyon didn't need a label other than 'Kyon' because people change and labels don't. The second reason was that Koizumi was becoming interested in Kyon, in a romantic sense. Koizumi couldn't describe his infatuation as a crush or as lust, because it was neither. It was the kind of love his grandparents felt for each other. His grandparents had taught about love, and once his grandma had said to him, "There is a special love you feel for your special person. If you're away from them, you feel like you are forgetting something, and the longer it lasts the more it hurts. On the other hand, when you're with them, nothing else matters. You won't be able to tell what you like about them most, or even why you like them because there are no words for the completion they give you and you are to overcome by them to even be able to think about why or what about them you like. To you they are perfect."

Koizumi had been young when his grandma told him about that, but the day he asked Kyon out, those words came rushing back to him. He no longer cared if he died doing something he hated, because now he had Kyon. With that realization, Koizumi had decided his lfe needed to change. Kyon was his everything from the first date, to the first kiss, to the first _more._

Koizumi knew that Kyon wasn't always sure if this was the way their lives were meant to go, but he thinks this is just because Kyon has always had a reason to live. The same wasn't true for Koizumi. While Kyon might be able to have had a good life if he and Koizumi had never dated, Koiszumi wouldn't have. There is no doubt in Koizumi's mind that he would have died by now without Kyon. But that's all OK with Koizumi because, right now, he's happy enough to smile with his real smile and not the fake one that leaves a sour taste in his mouth, and that's good enough for him.

A/N: I feel like it seems like angst, but I swear it's not! I hope you enjoyed and please review. I want to know your thoughts!


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